Eagles Fans Demonstrate How To Get Humbled By Opposing Coaches

I want you to imagine you are a Philadelphia Eagles fan. I know it can be difficult to formulate a theory of mind for them, but if it can be done for a bat, it can be done for a Philadelphian. OK, ready? Go. You are a Philadelphia Eagles fan. You suddenly have a constant craving for large sandwiches. Your head is now filled with detailed biographical knowledge of several local meteorologists. Every proper noun in this story is familiar. "Pond Lehocky" means something to you. The shouted phrase "FORMAN MILLS" plays randomly in your head at all hours. You are drunk. Drunker than normal, because it is game day. You have probably been tailgating, which is so important to you that you have reinvented collective bargaining from first principles in order to protect your right to drink next to the stadium as oppose to one lot farther out. You are drunk and feeling good. Your Eagles have been leading since the first drive of the second quarter. They are up 20-10 on the Rams. But not all is well. Jalen Hurts completes just two passes in the second half. They run an unsuccessful Tush Push. They unadvisedly go for it on fourth down with about eight minutes left, and fail, then allow Los Angeles to score touchdowns on two quick drives. The Eagles lose.

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