Let’s Make These Games As Stupid As Possible

Ray: In case you missed it, the greatest play since the 109-yard field goal return that won the 2013 Iron Bowl is still resonating around Downmarket College Football America, a moment of pure end-game lunacy between Vanderbilt and North Carolina State that serves to remind us all that the best and maybe only reason to still care about this grand swindle is the way that young folks can pull the radiantly ridiculous out of dull-gray ordinary. In doing so, C.J. Bailey, Miles Capers, and Cayden Daniels combined to remind us that the truest way to save college sports, with or without government intervention, is to ban the adults who can, do, and always will ruin everything. This is the same thing that will save all of youth sports, but nobody has yet figured out how to get the kids to stock the snack bar. There were, of course, other things to spice up the weekend, like Ole Miss beating LSU, LSU losing to Ole Miss, and Lane Kiffin having to explain them both. A quarter of the teams are still undefeated, not including Western Michigan, and remarkably no coach has been fired yet. Maybe the athletic directors and donors are too busy worrying about making any expensive purchases while Congress dithers over the Make Players Indentured Servants Again Act, or maybe Bruce Feldman's suggestion that the pool of interim coaches could include Jimbo Fisher and Brian Kelly scares them into paralysis. Or maybe they're all confused that SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey didn't hold a press conference to complain that the voters aren't giving Arkansas proper respect for being almost 2-1. But that's just the pettiness talking. With Week 4, the number of lower-division schools playing checkbook games against their betters is nearly done, and with it the diminishing likelihood of games like Oregon 84, Portland State 0, or Iowa 55, Northern Iowa 0, or Oklahoma State 59, Murray State 0.

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