Fifth Third Park Is A Terrible Stadium Name

The Detroit Tigers announced Monday that their ballpark will henceforth and forever, or until the naming-rights deal runs out or some more banks merge, be known as Fifth Third Park. "When you look around, it's so much more than where the Tigers play baseball," Ryan Gustafson, CEO of Ilitch Sports and Entertainment, said at the unveiling. So much more. It's not merely a "Tiger" "stadium." It's Fifth Third Park. Fifth Third! Ol' One and Two-Thirds Field. The Fraction. Hey, you wanna catch a game down at The 1.6̅? Tigers fans surely can't wait to embrace the new name for what used to be Comerica Park, which opened in 2000 but never truly felt like home because they could pronounce it without difficulty. Comerica was purchased by Fifth Third earlier this year, and now the branding has been set to rights. "Many names were recommended to us by customers and citizens here in Detroit," said Tim Spence, chairman, CEO, and president of Fifth Third, and all of them were presumably ignored in favor of Fifth Third Park.

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