Perfect Spiritual Fit Between NBA Player And NBA City Achieved

Sometimes the chaotic, unforgiving universe briefly and ecstatically snaps itself into harmony, like when the Fibonacci sequence shows up in a head of Romanesco broccoli, or a small rock balances atop a bigger rock, or when a certain permanently adrift Australian basketball player brings his destiny into sudden coherence. By which I mean: Ben Simmons is a Sacramento King. Simmons has taken the long road to Sacramento, though every step of his career has brought him closer to what Rudy Gay infamously yet correctly termed "Basketball Hell." In 2021, his top-seeded Philadelphia 76ers were in fantastic position to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals, only to get humiliated by the fifth-seeded Atlanta Hawks, as Simmons, on his home floor in Game 7, forgot how to dunk the basketball. This broke the Sixers. Simmons would never play for them again: The following season he staged an agonizing holdout under the pretense of a back injury that involved Joel Embiid and Doc Rivers debasing themselves, Simmons loafing through practice and then getting kicked out, and inadvertently creating the conditions for Tyrese Maxey to flourish. The Sixers traded Simmons to Brooklyn—while the borough is not remotely on the Sacramento spectrum, the Nets certainly are—where he flailed around hopelessly for chunks of two-and-a-half injury-marred seasons. Was he a small-ball center? Jumbo Rajon Rondo with a concussion? A defensive specialist? Not really, no; he was terrible, though in a way that seemed as much a matter of effort and intensity as a matter of talent.

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